Thursday, May 22, 2014



well, hari ni.. things get better as I acted like nothing was happened. doesnt mean that aku tak ingat dengan kesalahan sendiri. no, i still remember that.. it just the feeling of being leftover. and to be honest with myself, deep down my heart i feel so hurt.. because of my roomate.. yes.. she is.. no matter how hard i tried, i cant hide my sadness.. yes, i hv made a mistake once.. but, siapa kita nak hukum org? siapa!! seriously aku sesangat terkilan.. yang amat.. she treated me so bad.. its been three days we didnt talked to each other.. i hv tried to, but she refused. no, i dont hv the idea y.. because of my mistake? then, are you God to punish me? why you cant be like others? like Maryam? perempuan baik as kawan yg paling baik pernah aku jumpa.. yes, i'm so.. terluka.. its just one thing.. aku taknak mendoakan apa-II, just hope to see you happy.. happy for treating others like they have no feeling.. thanks rummie.. it is most appreciated :')


Monday, May 19, 2014

Cerita Semalam..


Tak pernah rasa seteruk ni.. Ujian.. Masalah berpunca daripada diri sendiri.. aku mengaku.. but people cant accept that, how do I make them terima? impossible kan? then, I deserved it.. its okay.. it is just, my dear sendiri tinggalkan aku sebab kan ni.. im so frustated.. i knew its gonna be happened. its so.. im crying a lot these two days.. sangat.. sakit.. but, no one knows.. they thought that i'm happy for what i hv done.. nak mintak tolong Allah, tapi malu.. perempuan hina ni baru nak ingat Tuhan? and masalah datang bertimpa-II.. i just cant avoid that.. so, no matter how hard it is i have to face it.. 

terasa diri ni taklayak.. nak bergaul, nak berkawan.. and i hv made my decision.. aku tkkan letakkan diri aku macam dulu.. sekarang dah lain.. aku dah taklayak nak bkawan dengan org-II mulia ni.. jauh sangat aku tertinggal.. ye, taklayak!! aku sedar.. and aku akan survive sendiri mulai skang.. i need to.. i need to think for my own future. now, the real life starts! i'm the one who chose the wrong way, and its really killing me.. what to do.. just face it!! kalau dulu, aku ade masalah pon aku tk kesah.. cuz i hv someone behind me.. the one who really gives all his support to me, the one who always makes me strong when i'm down..

actually, apa yg aku rasa sekarang.. dengan kesalahan aku tu.. why, some people act like~ ermmm.. why? tak boleh terima langsung aku buat camtu? terus pulaukan aku? ape ni? siapa diorang ni nak judge aku? terus letakkan aku serendh-rendah manusia? ok then, I take it as a challenge.. there is one pak ustaz bash aku n kawan aku habis-II kat fb.. betul ke cara awak nak tegur tu? betul? dengan malukan kami? thanks a lot, i hope Allah can gv u rewards for your good intention.. but, is that the right way? come on.. jahil-II aku pon takde laa sampai macam tu.. dan the rest. why? sebab hang bertudung litup? aku terbukak sekejap, hang terus pandang aku macam perempuan zaman jahiliah.. camtu?

for your information, aku ade kawan sejak sekolah.. yes, she's wearing hijab whenever she wants. but we hv never treated her like the way you all do.. seriously.. with her outfits, i guesses if she is one of us now~ i could bet that you'll dump her like a bitch!!!!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Happy Birthday Dear Sharezza!

Assalammualaikum wbt..
Hola holi~ hahahah

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Abang,
Happy birthday to you!!

ouhh yeah, now he's becoming sweet 21.. yups, my dear sharezza, besar dah anak mak.. bahaha :D tgk size, agakla kebesarannya.. and the biggest wishes of the year! cewahhh *over kau jemah*

* Selamat Hari Lahir pakwe! *
* Sorry for the late of wishing, it's the third time I do the same mistake *
* I hope, next year I'll be the first one to wish for your birthday (hope that it same goes to me) *
* Best of luck in your study! hoping for better, excellent and fantastic outcomes for the upcoming year :) *
* Wanna let you know that I will always be by your side, no matter how hard the challenge is *
* Will always love you and will always do *
* Sorry for doing the same mistakes again and again, hope to see you guiding me in the future *
* For the upcoming days, I beg for your sorry also. not to say why, but soon you will know why *
* Thanks for being here with me when I need you *
* Thanks for being my morning, my afternoon, my evening and my night *
* Thanks for keep on telling me that you love me *
* Thanks for letting me celebrate your birthday for the third year of knowing each other *
* Thanks for accepting me the way I are, my slackness, my weakness, my bad and my behaviors *
* Thanks for expressing your anger, egos, stressful and passion towards me *
* For every single things that you gave, million of thanks. but I have nothing in return *

It may sound so lame if I keep on telling the same thing about out past, about how do we met and about how we can be in this serious relationship. I dont have to remind you my dear, I know you still remember every moments of us :) last but not least!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Tonight :(

Assalammualaikum wbt..

hollaaaa.. rajin pulak I ngeupdate entry.. kehkehkeh.. surely, there must be something to share.. right? hahaha yest it is.. just now, got phone call from my dear Sharezza.. and this past few days, he changed a lot.. i dont know why and just now, he told me why.. I'm hoping for something, some good news or whatsoever, but.. no it didnt.. its about him going to be MTM again, for the second session.. meaning that, its gonna be the second year of being MTM.. and you dont know how does it feels.. dia punya busy, mashaAllah.. and seriously, he'll be having no time for himself and ME -_- its all about college, college and college.. seriously, aku tak suka sistem kolej dorang.. because the Pengetua got the power! sangat ade kuasa veto.. and what the pengetua want, they should fulfill it.. 

and for this whole a year, ohmaigad.. his life.. ermmmm ye as he said to me, aku kene TEMPIAS je.. when i said, i should prepare for this following a year, he said.. aku just kene tempias je, aku tak fikir life dia macamne.. okfine!!! aku tahu how does it feel, dia taknak sangat and dipaksa.. but, aku pon terasa jugak.. setahun aku bsabar, diabaikan.. but its ok, as he said laa.. aku malas dah nak cakap bebanyak, he keeps on repeating that AKU TAK FAHAM.. okok, what should i say to him then? sedih laa.. and memang terasa hati, sebab dia kata aku macam tu.. aku rasa tempias je! fine laa kalau mcm tu, then fikir sendiri yg terbaik.. aku diamkan je.. if anything happened, i will just sit, listen and see.. there is nothing much that i can.. i know nothing.. great! yes, there's nothing much that i can do.. 

To my dear sweetheart, I just wanna say.. dont bother about me, do whatever you feel better for your own future.. like it or not, I'll be accepting it with my whole heart.. i will always be there standing beside you in your happy and misery :)


Monday, May 12, 2014

Kemengarutan di Malam Hari..

Assalammualaikum wbt..
hi yolsssss..

again, studying till late night! shut up, I deserved to be like this. study in the very last minute, padahal ade banyak masa for revision. and I chose this way, padan muka kalau tk dapat jawab. huh :3 and the last post, about pathology test. and abviously, I studied for the same subject tonight but for the third test.. yes, THIRD TEST guys.. well, UPM stands for Universiti Peperiksaan Malaysia.. sangat banyak exam.. if it possible I guess, they will do the test for each consecutive weeks.. and its happening to my course, we got papers each weeks. congrats congrats!

its not about test alone, its about last friday, last saturday, upcoming thursday and upcoming sunday.. wow, so many plans huh? nope.. jumaat lepas, birthday abang saiful and the next day birthday ayah.. this coming thursday, birthday buah hati :D and...... guess what, tak dapat nak celebrate cause I have a paper that day.. bravo! *how did I stuck in this world?* plus, start from tomorrow I will have no much time to spend with him. every night till sunday, got dance practice. yes, ahad dah competition.. please pray for our victory :) excited and takut..

and now, i have so many plans to prepare the birthday present. but, got no money, time and everything.. how!!!!! why!!! can we just postpone his birthday to any other day please?? at least right after the competition and test thingy!! arghhhh I'm stressed -_- actually.. its ok.. nevermind. and now, I'm gonna talk about someone.. its not about my feeling itself, its just how hurt I am. why do people treat others differently? depending on their attire or what? kalau aku ni tak labuh tudung, nape pandang aku jijik sangat? yes, jijik.. why??? hampa baik sangat ye? I know, aku memang tak baik, but at least.. tak boleh ke layan semua orang sama rata? just curious.. no offense..

goodnight world, nak tido.. ngantuk sangat dah.. assalam

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