In the month of May (2011)
We met for the first time,
but I really didn’t recognize people around me. Not even the persons I shared
my place with, I couldn’t even remember the names. Simply shouted out their
names, hoping they will give a big smile to me. But I know I really need to
know well the place. I really have to befriend with the things that I’m used to
be someday. Live my life in a different way when I was not on my parent’s sight
anymore. Thinking of the best way to carry on living like I have nothing was
too bad for the beginner like me. Wishing for some guidance but I was so proud
to be that independent girl in the weird land. Just giving some hopes for the
one that I leaved for a meantime. It’s hurting me a lot but everything is going
to be alright as I let the time goes by. From the first sight, maybe that
little lovey-dovey feeling had been felt by him. Not too serious in making
conclusion, but as he knew that I had someone else before, that feeling was no
longer important at all. Keep that in mind, I was not alone and you were not
came by yourself. We both know that we could not know anything regarding to
ourselves alone. Don’t overplayed or else you’ll get in trouble. You played it
slow, you didn’t think overacted as you know you’ll get what you desired.
Thanks to you, that hard-headed human being was not longer in solid mind, but
the way she thinks about you can make you feel damn good. No, we were not meant
to be together in this month because we still have a long journey to go
through. Stop thinking of something not yours, thinking of the way to make it
yours as you will know the real life.
In the month of April (2012)
The start of something
new, stops stalking that little girl as you were closing to the final
destination. Making confession is something good but you have to find for the
right time. Confession you’ve made need a ‘yes’ answer in return to make you
get the satisfaction to the fullest. I know myself, you know yourself but you
don’t know me and I don’t know you. Everything changed when I was keep on
silence, no words no feedbacks no jokes no more laughing out loud. The way you
stared at me, making me lost my breath. It feels damn hurt but it is not a big
deal. You came to me, tried to be nice with me, made us avoid the gap between
us and at last the girl could feel what you feel. You lifted the white flag too
early, but it was not a big problem for that girl. No matter what, I will
assure you are going to be mine. If it is not too late, let’s break the brick
in between and build the love. We created our own memories somewhere, no matter
what that moment will always keep in my mind. It’s been a long time you didn’t
give her a short sentence, it really fine for that girl. She noticed the
differences on you, no more texting, no more calling, no more winking, there’s
nothing for her. Dear love, she loves you as much as you love her. Stop
dreaming of your old mindset, ‘’she is not the right one for you’’. Let’s find
a place for us to love each other, a place where no one could break us apart,
and a place for only you and me. He is the one who be ‘a perfect dream’ for
that girl.
In the month of September (2012)
Still can’t believe, you
and me could be together again. After we’ve been through the hardest time,
brokenhearted makes you cautiously beware with the same girl. Only a slight
wrong step, everything was getting complicated. No solution, being far apart
was the best way and the last choice. Hoping for the luck to come,
unfortunately there was no space for any other opportunity. Still searching for
the suitable time to get back to you, but still you were standing on your own.
You are not mentally traumatized, but you can’t even accept me back. I don’t
care what you think; I’ll put an effort to have you back dear. Every single
step I’ve took, the only thing that I thought only you. How far would you go,
how long would you stand? I’ve put aside all the shame, I’ve leaved behind all
the brokenhearted, and the only thing now was to find the way to get back to
you. Dreaming of being with the one that I loved the most was not weird thing
for me anymore. Be my routine as I keep on thinking about that guy. Hoping for
someone to lend his ears when I was in trouble, sometimes it hurts me a lot
when he didn’t even give me some space to pamper myself. This girl knows how to
control herself in front of people, but who knows how hard it was feels? Just
pretending like he was there for me even if he was not for me at all,
pretending can give me such a relief damn good feeling. When I’ve tried to lift
my white flag, he came to me and made a confession. Dear you, there will always
a room for your love in my heart even it is way too deep inside me. I will
never bury that chance and it is only for one person. When I see the chance in
between us, I was so glad. I’m speechless; the only thing that I can say is
that I do really love you.
In the month of November (2012)
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