The Old Days

In the month of May (2011)

We met for the first time, but I really didn’t recognize people around me. Not even the persons I shared my place with, I couldn’t even remember the names. Simply shouted out their names, hoping they will give a big smile to me. But I know I really need to know well the place. I really have to befriend with the things that I’m used to be someday. Live my life in a different way when I was not on my parent’s sight anymore. Thinking of the best way to carry on living like I have nothing was too bad for the beginner like me. Wishing for some guidance but I was so proud to be that independent girl in the weird land. Just giving some hopes for the one that I leaved for a meantime. It’s hurting me a lot but everything is going to be alright as I let the time goes by. From the first sight, maybe that little lovey-dovey feeling had been felt by him. Not too serious in making conclusion, but as he knew that I had someone else before, that feeling was no longer important at all. Keep that in mind, I was not alone and you were not came by yourself. We both know that we could not know anything regarding to ourselves alone. Don’t overplayed or else you’ll get in trouble. You played it slow, you didn’t think overacted as you know you’ll get what you desired. Thanks to you, that hard-headed human being was not longer in solid mind, but the way she thinks about you can make you feel damn good. No, we were not meant to be together in this month because we still have a long journey to go through. Stop thinking of something not yours, thinking of the way to make it yours as you will know the real life.

In the month of April (2012)

The start of something new, stops stalking that little girl as you were closing to the final destination. Making confession is something good but you have to find for the right time. Confession you’ve made need a ‘yes’ answer in return to make you get the satisfaction to the fullest. I know myself, you know yourself but you don’t know me and I don’t know you. Everything changed when I was keep on silence, no words no feedbacks no jokes no more laughing out loud. The way you stared at me, making me lost my breath. It feels damn hurt but it is not a big deal. You came to me, tried to be nice with me, made us avoid the gap between us and at last the girl could feel what you feel. You lifted the white flag too early, but it was not a big problem for that girl. No matter what, I will assure you are going to be mine. If it is not too late, let’s break the brick in between and build the love. We created our own memories somewhere, no matter what that moment will always keep in my mind. It’s been a long time you didn’t give her a short sentence, it really fine for that girl. She noticed the differences on you, no more texting, no more calling, no more winking, there’s nothing for her. Dear love, she loves you as much as you love her. Stop dreaming of your old mindset, ‘’she is not the right one for you’’. Let’s find a place for us to love each other, a place where no one could break us apart, and a place for only you and me. He is the one who be ‘a perfect dream’ for that girl.

In the month of September (2012)

Still can’t believe, you and me could be together again. After we’ve been through the hardest time, brokenhearted makes you cautiously beware with the same girl. Only a slight wrong step, everything was getting complicated. No solution, being far apart was the best way and the last choice. Hoping for the luck to come, unfortunately there was no space for any other opportunity. Still searching for the suitable time to get back to you, but still you were standing on your own. You are not mentally traumatized, but you can’t even accept me back. I don’t care what you think; I’ll put an effort to have you back dear. Every single step I’ve took, the only thing that I thought only you. How far would you go, how long would you stand? I’ve put aside all the shame, I’ve leaved behind all the brokenhearted, and the only thing now was to find the way to get back to you. Dreaming of being with the one that I loved the most was not weird thing for me anymore. Be my routine as I keep on thinking about that guy. Hoping for someone to lend his ears when I was in trouble, sometimes it hurts me a lot when he didn’t even give me some space to pamper myself. This girl knows how to control herself in front of people, but who knows how hard it was feels? Just pretending like he was there for me even if he was not for me at all, pretending can give me such a relief damn good feeling. When I’ve tried to lift my white flag, he came to me and made a confession. Dear you, there will always a room for your love in my heart even it is way too deep inside me. I will never bury that chance and it is only for one person. When I see the chance in between us, I was so glad. I’m speechless; the only thing that I can say is that I do really love you.

In the month of November (2012)

.....................................................................