Piece of Me :)

Assalammualaikum w.b.t..

Ouchhh, da lama gile tak post entry. Well, bila naik sem baru ni memang obviously busy dia berlipat kali ganda.. as what has been assigned, I got 7 lab and practicals in total for a week.. tak kira lagi buat kerja luar.. macam ape? Subject ethology.. ada study trip!  And yang penting, during my weekends! No way, I’m gonna miss my bed.. fuhhhh.. but what is the most important thing? Dah takda KOKO!! Jyeahhh.. 2 credit hours tu aku da buat past two semesters.. so rilek laa sikit.. and in your face laa for those yang tak amek koko sem lepas!! Wuuuu :3

Pejam celik pejam celik, aku dah start test 1.. the first test tu semalam (Khamis), paper ethology.. malam sebelum test tu, aku wat lek je.. siap main-II ag.. bukak nota, buat short notes, tapi nokhorom aku tak paham satu ape.. bahasa Inggeris dia mak aii.. hahaha, esoknya baru laa lincah kaduk nak hafal bagai =,= hahahah biasa laa.. university life! Study at the last minute (eleventh hour kate koww) and alhamduliilah, aku dapat bantai laa jawapan sume.. hahahah, Nampak tak permainannya kat situ.. and so-not-myself laa, aku keluar awal.. yeaaaahhhhaaa!!

And finish about ujian-thingy.. and we are counting down for our biggest event of the year! DOGATHON 2013!! I’m totally not under publicity division, and sorry for saying with a straight face.. aku Cleanliness Division.. well, it’s a good job guys.. tk kesa laa, janji boleh contribute something for that event! Just like the previous year, this is basically an annual event.. so its compulsory for each one of the vet-to-be! And yet, sangat-sangat best.. last year keje aku sangat busy.. under programmer division..

 so apa tunggu lagi, everyone is invited!

So, inilah aku yang sekarang..

this one was during ruminant practical.. kene tumbangkan lembu wehh! tapi sangat seronok.. and the upcoming lesson, kene buat rectal palpation :)

and for haters, please don't be so low-minded.. this is my job, well and yes.. we as vet, will cover the whole fields including swine production.. and Alhamdulillah, i got the chance to visit one of the swine farm in Sepang area.. and what i thought all this time is totally wrong.. the farm is quite clean.. what the best thing i've ever seen is the sow and the boar itself! it's really huge.. the sow brings about 10++ piglets alone.. wuuu :3 and each one of the piglets is so cute! no doubt guys, take a look at it by yourself once then u will know what i mean.. 

taddaaa.. and last word, don't judge someone by what she/he is doing.. coz u don't know what is their profession :)

It Starts in 3 2 1..

assalammualaikum.. hi peeps :) long time no see hah.. HAHAH.. okfine, broken habes =..= it's ok.. just back to the main point.. what is actually gonna happen? what is actually gonna start? yups, it seems like it did already happened to me.. yes! i'm in my second semester of being a vet student.. to be honest, it is a very interesting course to be in.. but deep in my heart, i am the only one who knows how it feels when u need to take a big responsibility.. hahaha.. ayat mengade-ngade pulakk..

alright.. here it goes.. as what i said in previous entry.. i've been accepted as a vet student.. jyeahhh!!! i was so happy.. why? because this is what my parents really want me to do.. and i'm glad as i can do what they want. for the past semester, it was full of suka dan duka.. theres so much thing to remember.. but being as a vet student, it makes me to open my mind.. widely!! i realized that this is a best opportunity to perform well.. jyeahh.. shine bright like a dimengggg!!

gambar kat atas ni, this is when we're doing our first time ever practical in Mini Zoo Kemaman.. it was so exciting!! seriously.. for y'll information, we were in group of six.. the one who was wearing t-shirt with purple in color is the one who has taught us a lot.. thanks Kak Ti :) there's someone left behind, the one who took that picture.. it's Bella

and we have 'Mektam' together with.. hmm.. i cant remember the name of the white horse =..= seriously.. we've been told by our lecturer in UPM that horse can't be easily handled by human.. they are unpredictable.. and yes.. when we deal with those creature, we really need to be extra cautious! hehe.. but, Mektam really gives us her cooperation.. we've got the opportunity to take her for a walk.. 

while doing our practical there, i was so happy and glad.. everytime i went for a visit to a place like this one.. i went for a visiting purpose, but this time.. it is totally different. people as a visitor looked at us.. we are as one of the staff at there.. we were wearing our uniform :) and i feel so proud of wearing it! because we are vet student!!

What's Wrong With Tomorrow?

assalammualaikum wbt.. hi guys.. again, i really have a lot of things to share.. it's all bout my life, and now yes.. i feel so upset because of what i got for my first test result.. it's nutrition course.. and fact, its quite hard and tough tho.. what can i say is that this is the extending course from the previous one (veterinary biochemistry).. as the conclusion, i found it was really really difficult to learn.. and now, i'm struggling for the second chance.. i will be seated for the re-test of that course tomorrow.. 

please, just pray the best for me. and i have two subject test tomorrow.. it's nutrition and english test.. i'm just hoping that i would have the free-feel and so relief feeling tomorrow.. i hope that i can do the best for the rest of semester.. it might be so cool if i can get a scholarship for the second year of studies.. i come from a moderate family and well of course it sometimes goes really bad according to my financial aspect. i can really see the difference between myself and them (who got any scholarship).. the way we spend our money is so different, what i ate, what i used.. they don't have the same thing as mine..

it is totally not meant like i want to be pampered by all those convenience.. but just imagine if i have to ikat perut and eat only once in a day (sometimes) or else twice in a day.. how suffer i am actually.. but, it will never affect myself from being so passionate girl to achieve what i dream.. i will study hard and achieve for the best cause i have the intention to continue my study in the oversea.. inshaALLAH :D

And When The Tears Drop :'(

Assalammualaikum w.b.t.. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.. syukur ke hadrat Ilahi yang memberikan aku peluang untok bernafas pada hari ini. terlalu banyak dugaan yang aku tempuh hari demi hari. walaupun semakin hari semakin menjadikan aku lemah, aku tahu. Allah berikan aku peluang untok merasa semua ini sebab Dia sayangkan aku. Dia nak tengok aku jadi lebih kuat. stronger than before! yes, just believe in yourself. you can Farah. walaupun aku tahu, aku neh tak kuat tapi aku masih ada orang-II yang sayang aku. to be honest with myself! now im gonna lift the white flag. i just can't stand it anymore. baru aku nak pulih daripada musibah dulu, datang pulak yang lain. aku taktahu laa. mungkin aku terpaksa mengaku, segalanya berlaku berpunca daripada aku sendiri. ye, memang sebab aku sendiri. 

aku rindu, sangat merindui saat-II aku dan semua orang berbaik. takde masalah. terutamanya dengan family aku sendiri. dengan kakak-II ku sendiri. semuanya tinggal kenangan bila aku bertindak macam tuh. ye, aku mengaku.. sangat teruk. aku bukanlah adik yang baik. sangat terkesan bila makan, minum, tidur, pakai, kesihatan dan segalanya takde sape yang amik kesah. aku rasakan nye sekarang. lagi perit rasanya bila aku tagihkan siket kasih sayang dan keprihatinan daripada keluarga yang kat kampung. setiap hari aku contact, sampaikan kakak aku naik bosan dengar aku luahkan kata-II kerinduan pada mereka. barangkali. hari-II aku cakap aku sayang ibu ayah, aku sayang kakak aku, aku sayang adik-II aku. ye, aku sayang mereka semua. 

aku rindu kehidupan aku yang dulu. aku menyesal dengan semua yang dah berlaku. atas segala kesilapan yang aku lakukan terhadap orang-II sekeliling aku. aku nak perbetulkan keadaan, tapi aku taktahu nak start kat mana dulu. aku sedar, bila aku susah baru aku nak dekat pada Allah. aku sedar!tapi pada siapa lagi aku boleh mengadu? pada siapa lagi yang nak dengar semua rintihan hati aku ni? pada siapa lagi yang mampu tolong aku? aku taktahu. aku taknak mengadu pada ibu ayah, aku taknak bebankan dorang. tak cukup ke lagi bebanan yang aku bagi pada dorang? i really really miss those moments when i feel free to smile all the time. when i dont have to keep this hard feeling alone. i do really love all these!!

memang hati aku tak tertanggung rendu dengan anak-II buah aku. tak dapat aku menahan airmata kerinduan bila tengok gambar dorang berdua. ayon, ofan.. ketahuilah bahawa acki tat sayang sangat korang berdua. acik tat rendu sangat nan ayon nan ofan. kalau acik tat takde, jangan lupakan acik tat pulak :') ibu ayah.. aku balik masa tuh sebab nak mintak ampun dan maaf dengan dorang. terlalu berbakul dosa yang aku kumpol :'( farah mintak ampun dengan ibu ayah. farah sayang sangat dengan ibu ayah. terima kasih sebab dah besarkan farah dengan baik sekali. buruknya farah hari ini bukan sebab kekurangan ibu ayah, tapi sebab kedegilan dan kesalahan fara sendiri. 

satu-II nya adik lelaki kesayangan aku. HAKIM =) akim takot dengan aku, garang macam singa katanya. aku bukan nak berniat marah-II, suruh-II dan tengking-II dia. aku pon tak paham dengan perangai buruk aku neh. adik selalu pesan kat aku, balik laa kampung. adik rindu dengan kakak. seriously, i'm touched. aku rasa menyesal bila tak hargai masa-II yang bahagia tuh dengan dorang. sangatlah rugi. dan sekarang aku sendiri dah merasa kesusahan tuh. bila hidup tanpa dibela, tanpa dikesah, tanpa dihirau. sepanjang masa ini, aku sakit tidak ada siapa pun yang mengambil berat sebagaimana yang aku rasa dulu. aku sedih. perit rasanya.

neh masa-II dulu. mana boleh rasa lagi. semua nya angan-II aku je pon. mungkin lepas neh aku akan jadik lebih susah. aku akan lebih terseksa. aku taktahu macamne nak survive. aku taktahu kalau aku boleh ke tak.. aku tak yakin dengan diri aku, aku nak mintak maaf dan ampun dengan orang-II sekeliling aku. aku banyak buat salah. aku mengaku. aku tahu, aku bukan yang baik, bukan yang bagus. cuma satu yang mampu aku buat, aku mintak ampun dengan semua orang. tu je yang aku mampu buat :'( aku takot kalau ibu, ayah, kakak-II, adik-II dan kengkawan sume takdapat nak maafkan aku. ye, semakin hari aku rase semakin jauh dengan semua orang. aku rasa semakin kehilangan. mungkin Allah nak bagi aku bersedia untuk menghadapi kehilangan yang besar. insyaAllah aku akan persiapkan diri. dan aku taktahu kenapa aku rase macam sesuatu yang lebih besar akan berlaku. aku dapat rasakannya :'(

This is What I Feel :'(

Assalammualaikum w.b.t..

it is so suddenly when i feel really like to write something here. seriously, its about what i feel right now! betapa pilunya aku rasa bila kakak aku post gamba slip gaji ayah aku..

even if it was 10 years ago! when i was 10, my along was 17, my angah was 14, my eda was 11, my lil sis was 8 and lil bro was waiting another 2 months untok lahir ke dunia :'( just imagine, lima beradik tengah rancak bersekolah.. ibu tengah sarat ngandung.. hmm.. what can i say about 10 years ago.. ibu selalu sakit.. because da lame tak ngandung, and there was a bit complication while pregnancy.. we were taking care of her bergilir-II.. setiap sorang akan PONTENG sekolah dlm seminggu tuh.. and early as 10, aku da belajar camne nak prepare makanan ntok orang sakit. yes, especially for my mum. because of her sickness, setiap makanan kene ikut aturan yg doktor bagi.. ini tak boleh itu tak boleh, just because to maintain her health. aku still ingat, aku selalu buatkan SAMBAL BERANAK (bunyinye memang pelik, tapi sedap!) untok ibu. she liked it very much even it was just a dish that i can prepare well.. just imagine, aku baru 10! berhingus ag kot..

still, i cant even think macamne ayah bole sara kitorang sekeluarga. mungkin orang nampak kitorang neh riuh-rendah tak kire masa.. but who knows, deep in our hearts we kept this big secret! straightly cakap laa kan, susah macamne lagi yg tak pernah kami rasa? yang paling aku ingat.. there was one time bila eletrik uma kene potong.. beberapa hari kitorang bergelap and main dengan lilin. and yes, for sure masa tuh kitorang yang kanak-II neh seronok dapat main api. tapi apa perasaan ayah n ibu?? :'( ya Allah.. belom lagi cite kalau pasal transport. tersangatlah susah.. i just cant say much, tears gonna drop! yang paling aku ingat bila ayah n ibu berhabisan ntok hantar aku sambung belajar dekat MRSM.. ye, sebulan je bertahan pastuh aku berkeras nak balik. situ je da nampak.. aku mang banyak menyusahkan.. and that is why i promised to myself, aku akan balas jasa dorang.. its fine for me! aku mang belajar skang neh ntok dorang.. ape yang aku nak adelah ape yang dorang nak.. ibu n ayah nak sangat aku jadi DOKTOR VET.. insyaALLAH.. kalau berjaya, 4 tahun lagi aku akan bergelar Doktor Vet =) everything is just for them!

there will be no one can replace ibu n ayah dalam dunia neh.. they want for the best to us, and i promised i'll be giving the best in return!! insyaALLAH.. may God helps us..

Foreign vs. Local

Assalammualaikum w.b.t..

Alright. Just like the previous entry, im going to talk about the presentation thing. U know what?? When one of the groups presenting in front, there is a weird one who was sitting on at the back.. Just after that group finished all the slides preapared, that hardly arrogant nonfemale human being came out with his annoying intelectually challenge question.. "why bla.. Bla.. Bla.." the hall was kept in silence mode.. Who was that? We were asking each other.. Why was he asked them rudely.. Why didnt he tried to come out with the question politely? Euww.. Seriously.. We lost respect toward that foreign guy.. He is not really foreign actually. The best part is he is malay too.. Haha.. Its great.. Hahah.. Just to mention here, we are actually really need to respect each other.. No matter where they come from, what color are they, what races are they, what religious believe are they practising.. The only way to strengthen the bond in between us is through this RESPECTFUL side.. Thats is called ethics, morals and values..