Masak Rasa Air Basuh Kaki

Bismillah.

So harini iols masak dinner, since i am feeling well sowhy not la masak kan? lagipun dah berbulan tk masak, sebab tk larat mabuk teruk pregnant ni. now dah 5 bulan, i am getting better! semalam en husband keep on telling me nak makan asam pedas. well asam pedas ni, dah 2 3 kali jugak masak. on the very try, seriously entah apa rupa dia. cair mair! yg paling tk boleh go, en husb telan aje. at that moment i asked him how was it? pandai en husb tipu. he said, dah okay dah ni, first try. hahahahaha

so when i made it for the second time, haruslah improving kan. hahaha barulah en husb jujur, katanya first time iols masak tu failed habis. rasa air basuh tangan! kahkahkah so for today, aku memang lama gila berperang kt dapur. dengan bunyik bertukang orang rumah sebelah (tengah renovation), seriously tk boleh fokus. siap text kakak tanya kene letak kunyit ke tak. hahahaha parah weh dah lama tak masuk dapur. so iols pn buat buat la chill. masak jela mcm biasa.

but turned out semua benda tk betul. tengah menumis utk masak kangkung goreng, terhangus sikit la pulak. bila dah masuk sayur, ter overcooked la pulak. aduhai macam macam lah. masak asam pedas paling challenging, confident aje aku. tgh tumis pun terhangus sikit, kahkahkah. takpe kita adjust bagi cun, boh itu boh ini. so bila siap tanya lah en husb dia nak makan dinner lepas maghrib o isyak, so he said after isyak.

sementara dia ke masjid untuk isyak, iols pun adjust adjust la sikit resepi dengan harapan miracle happen. hahahaha goreng la dua ekor ikan selar, boh kunyit n garam bebanyak, fav tu. memang niat takmau makan asam pedas tu, sbb ptg tadi dah makan. serik. hahahahaha so hidang lah bagi cun dengan harapan appearance dapatla tambat hati en husb.

so time makan, seriously berdebor tengok muka en husb. first suapan, then he smiled. dah boleh agak senyuman tu hahaha. then i asked, how is it. he said, rasa macam asam pedas first time dulu. hahahahhaha demmm. and i guess this one bukan rasa air basuh tangan kot, ni rasa air basuh kaki. kikiki sorry la en husb, tak sengaja. tak fokus. janji esok isteri masak sesedap for breakfast and dinner ok! but husband will always be husband, dia tetapjugak telan isteri dia masak. haha sweet kan! 

its okay, esok kita makan special okay. love you muahhhhh

Shit Happens

Bismillah..
Assalammualaikum..

So today is quite a tough day. Maybe it is my fault for being kuat bebel, but my intention is pure. I just want to make sure that everything is hygiene and on its place. So guys, just imagine if cat litter box was placed beside dining table. Can u guys imagine?? Dengan lantai yg kemain bergedih, seriosly GELI! so when I said dont ever put that shit on that place anymore, no one understand why. and i am so done with this!

What even worst? Bila kita tegur, tapi dia libatkan benda lain. and manusia tersebut mengaitkan dengan benda yg tkde kene mngena. okay im so done with this. im off! plus, orang yg aku harapkan pn tk mampu nak tolong aku apeape. penatlah. i am damn tired! dengan kata aku macam macam. seriously aku penat. i just want to live my life in a beautiful way, tp mustahil.

so today, i was so excited preparing stuff untuk my husband as he went back from outstation. but masa tengah buat kerja, i am late for maghrib prayer. it was just 10 minutes late. then what he said really disappointing me. all I do is to make him happy. but then he really let me down. he said, i was meringan-ringankan solat. hmmm

I should be more tough next time, maybe.

Naluri Seorang Wanita

Bismillah..

It's been a long time, thing has changed, a lot. And I am married, not to the man that I dated for 5 wasted years. I am blessed to be the wife of Ahmad Nawawi Razali. So I would say, 2018 marks the 2nd year of knowing each other. And I am glad to tell that we got married last year, on the day that I was born (14th October). And the best thing happened in life, I am mummy-to-be. So my due will be January next year, InshaAllah. There is more to tell for the past two years, but I am more drive to talk about other things.

Is it me or other women do have the same feelings as I do? Right after the proposal, I have promised to myself that he will only be the one. Loving him like no other, like the way he did. Thanking him for accepting me the way I am. Even until this moment, all I do is to make him happy, and be sure that we will reach the Jannah together. I hope I changed a lot, for better. And I am happy now, for who I am, I dont expect that this could be so soon.

But, there are things that keep me pushed aside. I hate this feeling, but I cant avoid. I know, I shouldnt look back in time. The moment when he asked me to be his wife, I should know that he has sacrificed his everything to me. Yes I should remember that! But, I always want to know every single things behind his back. I mean, I want to tun back time. And day by day, I was like coming near to the truth. And I hope one day, I get the answer for everything.

Mama-to-be :) 

6th March 2015

Bismillah..

Assalammualaikum..

A new day without beloved ayah :( can I live like this? aku dah anak yatim. Emosi.. tersangat tak stabil. Me either, I cannot control or expect my emotional status. ade je yang jadi mangsa.. especially him -_- and this lately, i'm just being to sensitive with people's doing. entahlah, aku pun tk faham dengan diri sendiri.. sebab masih merasa kehilangan kot.. okay laa, let's not to talk abt it..

last week weekend, pergi kuar dengan si dia. having big big gaduh.. seingat aku lah, dah lama sebenarnya tak bergaduh.. hahaha and it happened again. and, for the second time we had argument on last wednesday. i was so so excited to go out with him. unfortunately, things happened as unplanned. it's okay. may be cause of my own faults. aku punya la stress, rupanya dia boleh bsenang lenang melepak. hahaha tu namanya aku syok sendiri. bila aku text him, he replied me. and acting just so fine. okay, what's going on exactly? hahaha

7th October 2015

Bismillah..

Busy sangat this lately. Lots of things happened in my life. I learned about pain a lot. I really do feel like I am just, a small person. A small one who people don't really care, don't care at all. They don't see me as a real in whole. What should I do to change their perception? What should I do? I am not asking to be outstanding, I am not asking for people to love me. I just want to be myself. Most of the time, I failed to prove to them that I am something. Why? Am I lived in a safe place all this while? Am I? It just, feeling so hurt to know they are labeling u as no one. I should be able to face this, this isn't the first time. I have felt a lot more back then. 

I felt disappointed to know people around me ignored my thoughts. Why? Is it because I'm not performed well in studies? Is it because I am not as clever as they are? Ya Allah, please help me going through this. Please Ya Allah. I felt this for the second time. Ya Allah please help me, I just can't take it anymore. For the whole class today, I was so embarrassed as no one was taking my thoughts at the very first place. Am I not applicable enough to say out loud my thought? things that I know? Ya Allah, please give me chance to prove that I can. Please give me your guide. Please help meimprove everything. Please always be by my side. 

Coretan Buat Ayah.

Assalammualaikum ayah.. 

Fara baru sampai kolej.. Jasad kat sini, tp hati tkde kt sini pun.. Teringatkan ayah.. Farah tk boleh sunyi, farah ingat kt ayah.. Farah rindu ayah.. Terbayang bayang wajah ayah masa ayah terlantar atas katil masa tu.. Masa ayah sakit, masa ayah dah tkde.. Tenang.. Tenang tk ayah kt sana? Ayah jangan fikirkan kami sangat ye.. InshaAllah kami boleh teruskan perjalanan hidup ni.. Sebagaimana yg ayah impikan.. InshaAllah.. Farah macam tak boleh terima, kekadang bila farah teringat.. Atas surat mati, atas sijil kematian tu tertulis nama ayah.. Ye, nama ayah kesayangan farah.. Farah tknak, farah tk boleh trima.. Kenapa ayah? Terlalu awal.. Khalid bin Tukiman.. Sampai bilabila pn farah bangga bawa nama ayah.. Farah bangga berbinti kan nama ayah.. Farah bangga.. Farah syg ayah..