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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

This is What I Feel :'(

Assalammualaikum w.b.t..

it is so suddenly when i feel really like to write something here. seriously, its about what i feel right now! betapa pilunya aku rasa bila kakak aku post gamba slip gaji ayah aku..



even if it was 10 years ago! when i was 10, my along was 17, my angah was 14, my eda was 11, my lil sis was 8 and lil bro was waiting another 2 months untok lahir ke dunia :'( just imagine, lima beradik tengah rancak bersekolah.. ibu tengah sarat ngandung.. hmm.. what can i say about 10 years ago.. ibu selalu sakit.. because da lame tak ngandung, and there was a bit complication while pregnancy.. we were taking care of her bergilir-II.. setiap sorang akan PONTENG sekolah dlm seminggu tuh.. and early as 10, aku da belajar camne nak prepare makanan ntok orang sakit. yes, especially for my mum. because of her sickness, setiap makanan kene ikut aturan yg doktor bagi.. ini tak boleh itu tak boleh, just because to maintain her health. aku still ingat, aku selalu buatkan SAMBAL BERANAK (bunyinye memang pelik, tapi sedap!) untok ibu. she liked it very much even it was just a dish that i can prepare well.. just imagine, aku baru 10! berhingus ag kot..

still, i cant even think macamne ayah bole sara kitorang sekeluarga. mungkin orang nampak kitorang neh riuh-rendah tak kire masa.. but who knows, deep in our hearts we kept this big secret! straightly cakap laa kan, susah macamne lagi yg tak pernah kami rasa? yang paling aku ingat.. there was one time bila eletrik uma kene potong.. beberapa hari kitorang bergelap and main dengan lilin. and yes, for sure masa tuh kitorang yang kanak-II neh seronok dapat main api. tapi apa perasaan ayah n ibu?? :'( ya Allah.. belom lagi cite kalau pasal transport. tersangatlah susah.. i just cant say much, tears gonna drop! yang paling aku ingat bila ayah n ibu berhabisan ntok hantar aku sambung belajar dekat MRSM.. ye, sebulan je bertahan pastuh aku berkeras nak balik. situ je da nampak.. aku mang banyak menyusahkan.. and that is why i promised to myself, aku akan balas jasa dorang.. its fine for me! aku mang belajar skang neh ntok dorang.. ape yang aku nak adelah ape yang dorang nak.. ibu n ayah nak sangat aku jadi DOKTOR VET.. insyaALLAH.. kalau berjaya, 4 tahun lagi aku akan bergelar Doktor Vet =) everything is just for them!

there will be no one can replace ibu n ayah dalam dunia neh.. they want for the best to us, and i promised i'll be giving the best in return!! insyaALLAH.. may God helps us..

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