Monday, August 6, 2012

Lasting Forever..

I find it’s hard to express my feelings. The way I feel about what were happening in my surrounding. It starts to get complicated when I’m about to finish my studies. My love story, actually I found someone that loving me and giving me his whole heart. It started unevenly and I didn’t plan it. He fell in love with me since the first day of lecture class. We were in the same class that day but honestly I didn’t notice him. I am so sorry. When he confessed his pure love, I’m shocked but I am not that surprised to know that because I didn’t feel like want to get to him. 

But when time goes by, I feel something different towards him. This common feeling turns to weird one. At the beginning, I didn’t know what was meant to be. But at last, I knew that I’ve had fall in love with that guy. With the strength that I have, I’ve made confession. At that time, I didn’t care if he doesn’t love me anymore or gives me negative feedback. But what I really know is I do love him. After I told him the truth, he just didn’t believe me. He didn’t believe that this girl could give him some space for his love. Yes, I do really love him. He takes good care of me so much, he brightens my days and he makes me smile when I was by his side. Thanks dear. 

But everything changed when I made big mistake ever in my life. I left him for someone else, someone that I loved the most once in a lifetime. That guy came to my life and starts to ruin my love story. My love story with someone named A**** S*******. He keeps on doing something that can make me get back to him. R*** always reminds me to avoid from being closed to that guy, but I refused. I’m hard-headed. At last, I’ve make a big mistake because I didn’t listen to someone that love me sincerely. Surely I’ve take wrong step. And now, I have to live with the consequences that I made myself. He leaved me and now I’m alone. Actually, I missed the moment of us. But when he yelled at me that night, I feel like I lost my pride already in front of him. 

Seriously, I am too naïve. I hate him for treating me like bitch. Yes, I am totally wrong because loved two people at the same time. It is totally wrong. But please don’t make me feel like I am bitch. It really hurts. But its fine for me, I do really love him now but I will never let him know ever because I don’t want to act like a bitch. The thing that I am really sure is I will always love him ever since. Let me loving him. I know what I have to do now, I pray to God that one day he will accept me back. Hopefully he will manage to give his love to me but not someone else. Actually I regret with the chaos that I’ve made. It is totally wrong for me and I’ve ruin my own love story. He is just too kind for a girl like me. I don’t deserve to be with a guy like him. 

Even though he doesn’t know that I love him with full of my heart, but I will always pray for him for the best. I really hope that we could be together again. If it is not meant to be right now, but I will keep on thinking that the moment will arrive someday. I will keep on believing that miracle could happen. I wait for that precious moment because you are the one that I really want to be with the most. Sorry for all the stupid things that I created. Deep in my heart, you are the only one and it will never change. He makes me smile, he makes me cry, he makes me feel like I am something, he never stop saying that he loves me and I missed all the things about him. If we were not meant to be together someday, I will always remember the precious moments between us. I do really love you  A**** S******* . But I really know, you will never can get along with this girl again. 

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